@iRowlf: You can get a free carton of ice cream at the grocery store if you eat the whole thing before the cops show up.
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@lemmywinkler: My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I've never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!
@DevilryFun: I got a facial tonight by hovering over the boiling water before throwing in the mac n cheese.
@TheMichaelRock: If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good.