@iRowlf: You can get a free carton of ice cream at the grocery store if you eat the whole thing before the cops show up.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sofarrsogud: Before we were married, my wife was like a tiger in the bedroom. Now she's more like a possum. She plays dead whenever a snake approaches.
@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis calls the cops to report the pug that's been chasing him. The line is silent except for soft panting. the operator barks
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What's the first step of fire safety? 4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.