@ibid78: You can give a centaur a fish AND lead him to water, which is pretty awesome.
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@WilliamAder: A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too.
@Black__Elvis: I don't understand why I keep getting denied for bank loans because I have good credit & I'm only asking to borrow like four or five banks.
@Reverend_Scott: *rubs magic lamp, genie appears* I wish for World peace. Genie: Can't do it. Million dollars? Genie: Listen bro, I lied on my genie resume.
@RadOrDie: I wouldn't mind getting arrested today because I'm having a great hair day and my mug shot would be fabulous.