@WheelTod: "You can hide but you can't run,"
-- Mama tortoise giving the lowdown to her kids
@bingowings14: 18yo is deliberately putting the cutlery in the wrong places in the drawer when he puts them away. So I’ve put some of his game discs in the wrong boxes. Let’s see who’s head explodes first.
@darksidedeb: To graduate DJ school you have to pass your vinyls.
@KeetPotato: ghosts in movies are stupid if i was a ghost id be in the bahamas but they're just like "lets stay here and move pots and pans"
@idiosity: I wish I was poplar. No, that's not a typo. I wish I was a tree.
@KentWGraham: There should be a place on the organ donor card that lets you leave your middle finger to a person you hate.