@rorynotroy: You can just lean against anything, look down at your phone and toggle between your 1st and 2nd page of apps and you’ll look pretty popular.
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@ibid78: [A-ha rehearsal] "Here's the lyric: Take On Me." "What about Take Me On?" [4 hrs of arguing later] "Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."
@Brianhopecomedy: *presses wheelchair accessible button* *rolls 5 year old in on dolly restrained like Hannibal Lector* "We're here for a haircut."
@KalvinMacleod: HER: my dad hates puns but loves food ME: got it HER: dad, this my date ME: hey papaya yam glad to meat u HIM: *shakes then crushes my hand*