@causticbob: You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb.
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@o__0Dev: Getting out of bed in the morning always gave me a headache until I tried it feet first.
@maughammom: The very first thing my 3yo daughter said to me this morning was "I know how to start a fire!" so nothing you guys say today can scare me.
@Shock_Monster: I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots.
@hipstermermaid: The year is 2030: All corporations have merged and every night before bed you say a prayer to your cable company.