@causticbob: You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb.
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@citizenkawala: Married With Children is a hilarious sitcom until you’re 35 and realise it’s a chilling documentary.
@i_Lean: "Name him Mufasa, it means "king" in Manazoto. And uh, we'll call HIM Scar. Because his face." Simba's grandparents were the real villains.
@TheCatWhisprer: Accidentally connected my Fitbit account to Facebook and now everyone knows I only walked 13 steps yesterday.