@TheTweetOfGod: You can lead a horse to water but only if you grew up on a farm or something.
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@Book_Krazy: [Arrives at work dressed as a sexy kitty] Boss: *points to memo on desk* "It says no Halloween costumes" Me: *slowly pushes memo off desk*
@blade_funner: Officer: I'll need to see a photo ID. Me: (pulling out a selfie at an R.E.M. concert) That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight.
@JimmerThatisAll: I would organize my thoughts but I'm afraid they would form a union and demand benefits.