@realHamOnWry: You can lead a horse to water, but you have to work really, really hard to get him up on water skis.
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@TheBoydP: Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*
@Sarcasticsapien: When people say things like "You can't change the past" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.
@P0tterhead_394: "You have a very large package downstairs." I really need to work on how I word things to the men around this office.