@LostCatDog: You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can't do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner.
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@bourgeoisalien: I stop strangers from talking by smelling their hair & saying,"You smell like Pa. Pa loved his wood chipper. Never did find them drifters."
@bonehugsnirony: The first person who started winking at others was probably the creepiest human ever.
@The1WhosCrazy: "MEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH THE GREEKS & MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL" "Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse" "Oh rad bring it in"