@LostCatDog: You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can't do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner.
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@KeetPotato: date: "i like dangerous guys, are you dangerous?" [thinking about the amount of plugs i have in one outlet behind the tv] me: "yes i am"
@3sunzzz: If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup.
@Dawn_M_: Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back.