@GuyThe_Guy: You can learn a lot about a guy when you go through the pockets of his pants that are at his ankles in the bathroom stall next to your's.
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@SerialFuckup: Today's life lesson: "I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."
@NervousJr: Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise.
@leyawn: someone brought a box of lemons to work and emailed out saying "there's lemons" and now every one has a lemon on their desk. why
@Phook75: FACT: If you can trick a British person into saying "fortnight" they have to become your butler.