@pizzajaynow: You can learn a lot about your kids by helping them with their homework for example, mine are idiots.
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@Dawn_M_: I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don't think it's weird when I have jam in my hair.
@SadieSkyNinja: Sorry that I took a picture of my armpit and tried to pass it off as my thigh gap.
@joshgondelman: Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say "You haven't seen The Wire?" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying.
@markhoppus: "The concept of romantic love is obsolete in the modern era" I declare loudly to no one in particular as I grab for another dinner roll.