@3sunzzz: You can learn a lot when your children start moving out. For example, you may go upstairs and learn that you no longer own a couch.
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@polyhumorous: I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened.
@Headkutter: How to scare burglars off.... First put pictures on the wall of you with a tiger. Second put a cat litter box in your hall and shit in it.
@DurtMcHurtt: Hobos are like cats, they'll let you pet them until you stop feeding them cat food.