@Maxine12333: You can lose a lot on a no carb, no sugar diet. I tried it and immediately lost my will to live.
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@thewordy: boys love mysterious girls so don't be afraid to show up to dates with a shovel and a smear of fresh blood on your collar
@Phook75: The upside to having kids is how you're able to use them as an excuse to cancel unwanted plans
@robdelaney: “Sorry I didn’t reply to your email Terry, a wolf ripped my hands off… Oh these? Um, I got new hands? Gotta go!”