@TheMichaelRock: You can now take small knives with you on planes, but my 4oz bottle of mouth wash is dangerous. Got it!
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@suzieQ0007: Did you know Lysol kills 99.9% of germs & my toothpaste has tartar control? You would too if you sat in my bathroom without your phone.
@4Crocs: If there is not a open bar and a goddamn delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
@fart: the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually "cloaking" they just turned all their lights off
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Every time my husband hides my pants, I have sex with him. Don't tell him I have more than one pair.