@weinerdog4life: You can pretend you're a ghost at pottery barn, there's no laws against that
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@ArfMeasures: ME: The kids have ruined their shoes WIFE: Again? [sighs] Just throw them out [Later] ME: Stop crying kids, your mum says you have to leave
@Dutch_50: Denied candy because I "didn't wear red". Kicked out of the office because I "didn't wear pants". I'm tired of these Valentine's Day rules.
@AndrewChamings: Bully gets me in a headlock not realizing my entire head is pre-slathered in fish oil and I just slip right out! The janitor chants my name.