@iGreenMonk: You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.
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@Elizasoul80: Trump, 2 years into his presidency: "What do you mean we can't just file for bankruptcy?"
@LOVELADONNIS: Woman on the plane just asked her crying son "are you gonna be a gangsta or a crybaby" I'm like damn are these the only options?
@CodyJP9412: Old people that say tattoos are a waste of money: You have entire cabinets dedicated to plates that no one is allowed to use.
@DanMentos: "Bob's here" Bob the surgeon or Bob who just pretends he's a surgeon? "We only know one Bob and he's an accountant" *arm falls off*