you can skip the karate classes and just buy a black belt. no one will care.

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@ch000ch: you can skip the karate classes and just buy a black belt. no one will care.

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@caliluvgirl77: 1990- I have three-way calling, we can all talk for hours 2015- don't even leave me a voicemail unless you are dying or I won money

@simoncholland: A few weeks ago my dad decided he was going to order pizza from his iPad. He's almost finished.

@roggyie: Twitter: Where if the chemistry's good, the geography won't be..

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@AmericanGent69: *holds flashlight under chin Me: suddenly the mystery of... Son: haha Dad has like 3 chins *drops flashlight Me: SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE!!

@rachelle_mandik: most vending-machine shaking incidents are elaborate coverups by people who don't want to be seen hugging the machine and saying i love you

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