@theshamingofjay: You can tell a lot about a person based on how long it takes them to find the gun emoji.
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@AlyssaDiSalle: Do something nice for your ex today, take them out. One bullet should do the trick.
@Georoyo: Marc Anthony jeans at Kohl's come in three cuts - tuberculosis, heroin addict and skeletor.
@AthenaMystique: *texts god* Me: yo, can we add "being a grammar nazi" to the list of sins? Their annoying. God: *they're