@Darlainky: You can tell a lot about a person by eavesdropping in on their conversations in the bathroom.
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@buttcrunchy: "honey why is our water bill so high?" *water bill sits there holding a bong* hahahah duuuude i don't know man. DORITOS. DO WE HAVE DORITOS?
@HatfieldAnne: The orthodontist says I'm doing a “super job” wearing my retainers. All this really means is that I'm able to put things in my mouth.