@UnderTheJewFro: You can tell a lot about a person by the type of car they drive. For example, if they drive a Taxi, they're probably a cab driver.
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@Sassafrantz: Just found a new app that that tells you which one of your friends are boring. It's called Facebook.
@Cheeseboy22: Somebody Cadbury Cream egged our house last night. I'd be upset, but I've been too busy licking off the bricks.
@JasonLastname: It's not illegal to tell a ghost story when a cop shines a flashlight in your face
@trojansauce: [after moving into a haunted house] *setting up potters wheel* OH NO WHO WILL HELP ME LEARN POTTERY *sitting in silence for 40mins*