@n0tblonde: You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands, for instance if they are firmly around your throat she is probably slightly upset.
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@PaperWash: Remember kids, those light up sneakers won't seem so cool when wolves are chasing you through the woods at night.
@KentWGraham: MARRIAGE TIP: When your wife forgets to set the timer and incinerates dinner, DO NOT whistle “If I Only Had a Brain” from the Wizard of Oz.
@UNTRESOR: If you see a guy in an executioner's hood feeding a deer into a Coinstar today just let me do my thing.