@n0tblonde: You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands, for instance if they are firmly around your throat she is probably slightly upset.
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@margolundy: Please tell me the grounds around mental hospitals have walking trails called psychopaths running through them.
@sageboggs: Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake
@huntigula: [texting w/ my nana] Me: hey! Mom told me you learned how to use emojis! Her: I ❤️ murder Me: well that's kinda wei.. Her: I will 🔫 everyone