@MensHumor: You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
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@paperphotoyo: Being a parent means you have to make gigantic sacrifices like quality sleep and the backs to every remote control in your house.
@StatusInBeirut: If you think being a vegetarian will make you thin, I direct your attention to cows.
@UrplePingo: LOL there's like 20 guys w/ "Female Body Inspector" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO
@heapsOhate: *finds own number on a bathroom stall* Call for a good time!? This is outrageous! *crosses out good; writes in GREAT* There. Fixed.