@LionJenkins: you can tell im drunk by the number of made-up words i concoctulate
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@chuuew: The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon.
@david8hughes: [taking baby's shoes off & examining the soles] "Oh look, completely clean. It's almost as if you were carried everywhere."
@Phoebetate: I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain't got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
@ibid78: [eharmony] based on your responses, your perfect match is a trashcan.. [me] aww [eharmony] ..full of raccoons [me] omg I love raccoons