@LionJenkins: you can tell im drunk by the number of made-up words i concoctulate
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@birbigs: Twitter action film: MAN 1: Follow me. MAN 2: On Twitter? MAN 1: No. Physically, follow me. Or you'll be killed. MAN 2: On Twitter?
@djdarrellripley: Me: Let's get married secretly, and not tell anybody! Her: Yea, but what if we have a baby? Me: Well, we'll tell the baby...
@tillygirl3: All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies Get their hands stuck
@TheHyyyype: ME: *tells joke* WIFE: ugh, that was funny in middle school [later] ME [at a local middle school]: so have you all heard the one about th