@mstern68: You can tell which inmates were involved in organized crime because their cells are much neater than other prisoners'
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@Diversion50: It still really upsets me that my dog stopped talking to me around the same time I gave up taking hallucinogenic drugs.
@mymizztake: 15 men all vying for the chance to fight with one woman: 1. The Bachelorette 2. The American presidential race Samsies.
@bridger_w: When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with