@TheThryll: You can usually win any arm wrestling contest by simultaneously leaning in for a kiss.
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@tommygunz07: Hugh Hefner lived so long that his first wife's name was Mildred and his last wife's name was Crystal.
@Reverend_Scott: Muggers: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE Me: My Lord will protect me Muggers: Haha, right- Jesus: [appears wielding dual katanas] I smell SINNERS
@RexHuppke: "Let's take a couple dozen over-stimulated children and give them enough sugar to kill an elephant." - inventor of the birthday party