@walruslifestyle: you cannot glue a tomato back together with tomato paste believe me I've tried
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@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that size shouldn't matter so she went out shopping and bought my "boys room" a new 4 inch TV.
@GrabTheWEness: I was really into the idea of Salsa dancing, until I learned there are no chips. Or salsa.
@_xLNc: My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows.
@Thing_Finder: I hate when I can't remember if my wife and I are in love or fighting. So, I'm like a minesweeper in the mornings.