@hippieswordfish: you can't believe it's not butter? buddy, almost everything is not butter
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@chuuew: [Justice League HQ] SUPERMAN: Looks like Batman is hungry tonight MOTHMAN: [visibly sweating] I think I'll just fight daytime crimes
@AnniemuMary: My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back.
@MelvinofYork: Yes, I said I was sorry and that I'd do anything to win you back. But that was before you told me you needed a ride to the airport at 5am.
@PinkCamoTO: There is no bond greater than the mutual respect of two former high school friends who refuse to friend each other on Facebook.