@hippieswordfish: you can't believe it's not butter? buddy, almost everything is not butter
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@joshgondelman: In retrospect, "Metallica" is a hilarious name for a metal band. It's like a Bob Dylan calling himself "Ol' Folksy."
@SoAnyway1: I remember the first time I saw my girlfriend, her hair was blowing in the wind, but she was too proud to run after it.
@SondraDeeMe: My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he's paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth.