@MattMcC1: YOU CAN'T BUY HOT POCKETS YOU CAN ONLY BUY COLD POCKETS YOU ARE EXPECTED SUPPLY THE HEAT YOURSELF DONT BELIEVE THE LIES.
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@3sunzzz: M: Yes, I'm here for the complimentary wine tasting. Priest: Ma'am, this is a church service. M: Oh, no worries. I can wait.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Can you do what you want at work? Me: No, I have to listen to my boss. 4: Mom is at your work?
@P_o_n_k: INVESTOR: But how will I know when it's done? INVENTOR OF THE TOASTER: Think of the most startled you've ever been.