@HeyoShellz: You can't change a person unless they wear adult diapers
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@LetMeStart: Me: I couldn't eat another thing. Narrator: Oh, she ate another thing. And then some.
@AbrasiveGhost: [Meeting] CEO: as u can see [points to graph w laser] we- BUSINESS CAT:[comes flying across table & just crashes right into a photocopier]
@jordan_stratton: Remember, kids: Never get in cars with strangers unless you've used an app to select a specific stranger to drive you around in their car
@LoneWolfStories: Her: OMG! The holidays aren't an excuse to stuff your face with whatever edible that crosses your path. Me: I eat like this everyday.