@JD_KC: You can't fix stupid but you can fantasize about slapping the shit out of it.
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@ThaJawn: Interviewer: Please take off your sunglasses.. Me: Nah, I'm afraid you'll see how high I am
@scorpicpanda: If I've learned one thing from watching horror movies, it's if you buy snacks from vending machines, you will die.
@Matt_The_1st: Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.