@donni: You can't get pregnant from sex with a condom, only from sex with a person
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@BuckyIsotope: FROM: Harvard SUBJ: Your PhD application We are unable to accept you at this time as "Teaching Squirrels Karate" is too cool for us.
@tudorgrrrl: How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?
@Fred_Delicious: If I had a time machine I'd alter the Big Bang Theory pilot episode so all the characters exploded in the very first scene
@AnitaHelmet: Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.