@NikiWithIssues: You can't give me a mini fan at work and expect me not to spend the whole morning pretending I'm a model doing a photo shoot. It's science.
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@charliedelta7: My 4yo: Dad, you're old, right? Me: I'm not that old. 4: You're not new. Me: Go to bed.
@jonnysun: hey ther delilah wats it like in gotham city is the joker stil in jail-- sory-- i mean-- u look so prety yes u do batman is not as cool as u
@Underchilde: They don’t make microwaves the size of refrigerators because they know if you were high you’d try nuking your friends.