@NikiWithIssues: You can't give me a mini fan at work and expect me not to spend the whole morning pretending I'm a model doing a photo shoot. It's science.
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@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
@jnellbg: I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don't have great childing skills either.
@TheDairylandDon: Why hunt for vampires when you can just open a tuxedo shop and have them come to you? Work smarter, not harder.