@NikiWithIssues: You can't give me a mini fan at work and expect me not to spend the whole morning pretending I'm a model doing a photo shoot. It's science.
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@shariv67: Hello? I'd like to rent one bouncey house, please. How many will be using it? Just one. Her age? Uh. Four........ty-seven.
@LoriLuvsShoes: My husband says I talk in my sleep but I don't believe him because nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
@GrillinChillin9: Mick Jagger: Hey Keith, come hold my new baby. Keith holding baby, whispers to it: I'm going to out live you too.
@SamGrittner: *job interview* "Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Mirrors, puddles of water. Basically anything with a reflective surface."