@melibuff: You can't have your cake and thigh gap too.
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@MsSugar_Kisses: "You should leave your wife..." The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning...
@truegritrumble: ME: *staring into my lover's eyes in the midst of a warm embrace* HER: What are you thinking? ME: *caressing her cheek* I forgot your name.
@CoreyNotKori: My handwriting has slowly morphed from cheerleader to serial killer to elephant with a paint brush.
@iwearaonesie: wife: Would you ever want an open marriage? me *messages every girl in my phone asking if they'd have sex with me* Umm *all respond no* Nah