@melibuff: You can't have your cake and thigh gap too.
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@skittle624: My son just said there was too much cheese on his quesadilla. I don't understand where I went wrong.
@TeaPainUSA: If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada.
@WilliamRodgers: How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act? A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked? A: Yes HIRED!
@MythicPicnic: Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans.