@david8hughes: You can't keep eating people's lunches from the break room & blaming the Taliban. A lot of what you've been stealing is pork for one thing.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mrjohndarby: restaurant Waiter: Your coffee Me: Could I have a little spoon please? Waiter: Certainly *delicately embraces me from behind* Me: lovely
@kyry5: [first day on the job as a drug dealer] *giggles* "We don't have coke, is Pepsi ok?" *gets stabbed*
@ValeeGrrl: 7yo: Let's not talk ALL day today 6yo: Ok! Me: *holy shit yessss* 7yo: LET'S ONLY WHISTLE AND CLAP INSTEAD Me: Right. Of course.