@david8hughes: You can't keep eating people's lunches from the break room & blaming the Taliban. A lot of what you've been stealing is pork for one thing.
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@BitchyJasmine: Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? His body decomposed.
@Moronyc: A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer