@david8hughes: You can't keep eating people's lunches from the break room & blaming the Taliban. A lot of what you've been stealing is pork for one thing.
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@justabloodygame: "It's terminal-" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? "Departure time is in three hours." THREE? WHAT DO I DO? "This is an airport." SO WHAT? I'M DYING!
@SortaBad: Age 15: I wanna live in a mansion Age 25: Ok a big house, in a nice neighborhood Age 35: *googles 'Best Months to Live Outside'*
@SteveSuckington: [high school reunion] "Hey aren't u the kid who used to lie and throw people under the bus all the time?" No that was Tyler.