@weinerdog4life: You can't name your dog Jeff, that's illegal
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@EndhooS: Good cop "If you confess maybe we can cut you some sort of deal..." Crab cop *walks sideways off the table*
@JessicaVarsity: Felony Insurance, like car insurance but for when you hate someone so much you just have to throw a cinder block through their windshield.
@interwebmemes: 2016: No way will Trump win the election 2017: No way will President Trump fire all those nukes 2018: No way we're doing what those Apes say
@preshmomes: my car is dead & i saw a dead spider under the hood so like, do i need a new spider? i dont know a lot about how cars work