@NikiWithIssues: You can't prove that I'm not the center of the universe.
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@KevinFarzad: MATH Q: 5 friends wanna split a $50 dinner. But Josh wants a separate check bc his thing was $2 less. Really, Josh? This is y nobody likes u
@evanrhorne: "Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs." - inventor of Whopper Candies.
@MarfSalvador: Friend: Be adventurous in the bedroom, girls love that [Later in bedroom] Me: You like that? *Lays another bear trap* You like that babe?