@NikiWithIssues: You can't prove that I'm not the center of the universe.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@House_Feminist: A lonely rooster sees neon sign flashing HOT CHICKEN STRIPS, walks into Popeyes and cringes in horror as he drops his dollar bills
@tastefactory: My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring
@smedlee: The worst thing about when someone tells you to chillax is what to do with their corpse.