@MikeDrucker: You can't run a country like a business. If you did, you'd have to pay profits to investors, meaning citizens. And that's socialism! Bye!
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@SteveSuckington: Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses? Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.
@KeetPotato: "what's your most cherished memory keith?" [looks at my wife and baby in crowd with loving smile] [leans into mic] i heard a dog laugh once
@badbanana: I relate to #PizzaRat because if I found a slice of pizza as big as a car you can bet I'd try my best to take that thing home.