@DillDoes: You can't spell "secret government conspiracies" without that 27th letter of the alphabet that they're hiding from us
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@foxnerdrn: I feel like my parents grossly overstated the number of times I'd be offered candy by strangers.
@Fred_Delicious: Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York
@OctopusCavemann: [2 men standing in an empty basement together] Man 1: “Alright, maybe we should tell a few people about Fight Club.”
@mrnickharvey: Son: What are caterpillars afraid of? Me: It's unlikely that they experience fear. They're not self-aware, so... Son: [sadly] Dogerpillars.