@DillDoes: You can't spell "secret government conspiracies" without that 27th letter of the alphabet that they're hiding from us
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@CastAwayKristen: Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn’t work. Help forum: Should’ve had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now.
@ch000ch: *crumples a hamburger next to the phone* sorry, i'm having trouble hearing u over this delicious hamburger noise call u later ok
@laurajennyjo: Apparently trapping people in an elevator overnight (even if you have marsh mellows) not a good way to make friends, people are so sensitive
@LostCatDog: I hope the next Adam Sandler movie has a wacky grandpa who uses "bae" all the time so you guys will stop thinking its funny