@rcromwell4: Youngest cried because Tooth Fairy was in the house while we were sleeping and I can't argue with her logic regarding intruders.

@PurrrrrfectCat: If ignorance truly is bliss, my coworkers must be in a constant state of euphoria.

@icecube: Stealing endorsements is not how you become the president of the United States, homie. Leave my name out ya mouth...

@RumAndReeses: My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass.

@sucittaM: Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.