@LuvPug: You can't tell me what to do, you're not my dog
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@OtherDanOBrien: [Cat birthday party] *Cat opens gift from her husband* "It's...an empty box." *silence* "Oh honey, I love it!"
@BeTheBoy: The first sign I wasn't going to be a doctor is when I called Anatomy "Skeleton Class." Sign two was failing skeleton class.
@seamussaid: FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys