@KentTheG: It costs today's parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that's just for the alcohol.

@Black__Elvis: I’m hot blooded, check it & see/ I got a fever of 103/ why’s everyone on the bus screaming/ maybe I shoulda wiped off the rectal thermometer

@Crutnacker: Why Seth MacFarlane's Oscars were mean spirited and misogynistic, coming up next after our review of the worst dressed women.

@JustFingKatie: I keep getting a message that "Twitter is having issues"nnGood job guys...we drove twitter crazy!

@BeardSpice: How to kill two birds with one stone: Step 1: throw a stone at a bird Step 2: go pick up that stone Step 3: throw it at another bird