@Cali_Kid_Mike: "You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like shit."
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@thepunningman: [hamster construction site] "Colin, you seen Dave?" I left him manning the concrete mixer "Oh no" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]
@T_Bonezzz_: "One day, I will create a global business-oriented social networking service" - Abraham LinkedIn
@Book_Krazy: Me: [walks up to boss] *SLAP* Boss: WTH?! Me: It's Natl Bully Month Boss: No, it's Natl Bully PREVENTION Month! Me: well this is awkward
@iwearaonesie: How much longer? Did you bring any snacks? They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet? - me watching my kids Christmas pageant