@Cali_Kid_Mike: "You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like shit."
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@thedad: Hey if a public bathroom door is locked don't forget to try to repeatedly open it and give the person using it paralyzing anxiety
@SheBanggs: I'm going to name my son Red so he'll grow up to be a wise sportswriter or the prison inmate who knows how to get things. Hopefully both.
@JohnLyonTweets: I don’t care how much candy he offers you, kids, do NOT get out of Billy Ocean’s dreams and into his car.