@botandy: You come home early and catch the cat eating with a knife and fork at the table. You stare at each other unsure of the next move.
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@tuckerflodman: [CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. "I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!
@rockymomax: SNAKE: im gonna bite you SNAKE CHARMER: u are so sexy S: wha- SC: *presses finger to lips* still wana bite me? S: *blushes* well not anymore
@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.