@botandy: You come home early and catch the cat eating with a knife and fork at the table. You stare at each other unsure of the next move.
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@goodballs: [sees girl reading Lord of the Rings] "Ah I love that book. The way that guy is just [clenches fist] the Lord of all those freakin rings."
@sofarrsogud: 'Time to meet your maker' I say, more in hope, as I unpack another box of IKEA furniture.
@GirlPosts: me to my husband: please hold me, the stress is not good for the baby husband: ??? what baby me: me. im the baby
@bourgeoisalien: Saw 8 vasectomy billboards on my 4 hour road trip through Florida yesterday. It's like Florida knows what has to be done to Florida.