@botandy: You come home early and catch the cat eating with a knife and fork at the table. You stare at each other unsure of the next move.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BoobsRadley: Therapist: resentment is like drinking poison in the vain hope it makes your enemies sick Me: not if I'm banking on them eating my body
@TheAlexNevil: By "ancient ruins of a once great civilization"-standards, I keep a fairly clean house.
@Roweboat13G: A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it.
@SortaBad: [returns from Costco] "Honey you didn't get stuff we don't need, did you?" "Of course not babe" *stands in front of 12-pack of garage doors*