@jordan_stratton: You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
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@JediGigi: Him: I'm leaving you. Me: [can't hear him because I'm trying to breakdance in my bubble wrap suit]
@isaaaa: Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. "Like" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order.
@plumbur: Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we're camping. With an angry bear close by.
@Reverend_Scott: [first date] Her: I like guys that are spontaneous. Waiter: Soup or salad, sir? Me: [maintains intense eye contact with her] SURPRISE ME