@jordan_stratton: You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
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@AdviceFromDino: Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did.
@elizabeth_fels: Romeo possum: [kissing] You're so hot Juliet possum: [plays dead] Romeo possum: Not cool, babe
@GrowlyGrego: [doctor hands wife urn] Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband didn't make it. "Nooo!" she cries. Oh, he's fine. But he didn't make this lovely urn.
@1evilidiot: You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive.