@LoveNLunchmeat: You could murder someone in California and they wouldn't even arrest you as long as you properly composted the body.
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@thequeensheart: "Mom, I promise I won't interrupt your nap." "Thanks honey, could I finish peeing by myself?"
@caraweinberger: It's crazy how my ex was so upset about losing me that he had to build a life with a new woman.
@PaperWash: *Signs into Facebook "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" is posted everywhere *Agrees *Deletes Facebook