@TheMichaelRock: You couldn't hold an intelligent conversation if I duct taped one to your hands.
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@abhorrent_wife: Volunteer me to do something without checking with me first so I know whose mailbox to leave the dead squirrel in.
@TheTweetOfGod: Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
@amfmpm: dry skin? flaky scalp? discoloration? scaling? tongue bifurcating all by itself? hissing? legs fusing together? recently evicted a gypsy?