@TheMichaelRock: You couldn't hold an intelligent conversation if I duct taped one to your hands.
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@Orchidano: Big day! I've decided to forgive the woman who told me I looked tired at a party three years ago.
@jwoodham: Hey, Edgar Allen, go ahead and Poe me up another drink! Don't tell me to be quiet, lady! Why are there so many books in this bar?
@heytherecore: [Dinner with GF's parents] Thank you for having me over, can I use the bathroom? "MAY I use the bathroom" *slams fists down* I ASKED FIRST