@mrkoodge: *lowers car suspension to look more gangster* *takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*

@MafiaJoker78: ????My lactose-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, carb-free, nut-free, fat-free milkshake, brings all the weirdos to the yard...????

@TheGoodGodAbove: The only way Congress will ever pass common sense gun control is if they're threatened at gunpoint

@AnOrangeSNES: Yes Pony Express? I ordered a pony 27 minutes ago and I still didn't get it. What kind of fast food joint do you run here?

@Brampersandon_: [leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket