@platinum2000: You don't have to seduce me with restraining orders and joyrides on the hood of your car, you had me at. "No, I was waving at my friend."
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@SondraDeeMe: Me:She's better than me. BF:She's not. M:Look at those, they're incredible! BF: M:STOP STARING! -Boyfriend reading other women's tweets
@FatBottomGirl1: We've secretly replaced the G with a K on this bottle of Jergens. Let's see if he notices.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I think it's weird how President Obama appointed George Clooney Secretary Of Handsome. #DNC
@TheAlexP: Little known fact: Henry Ford called it an automobile because "Horse with no Name" sounded stupid.