@secondofhername: You don't have to write 'Twitter addict' in your bio. Your 58675687K tweets give it up by themselves.
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@lloydrang: I just ran 4.1 Kms and realized you can write anything you want after that and no one will read it purple monkey dishwasher.
@Book_Krazy: ME: I'd like to order...the updog. WAITER: How would u like that prepared? ME: um medium well? W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done
@briancthayer: *licks excess icing off mixer & spoon* Wife: Aww, thanks hun! Me: For what? W: Doing my dishes! M: Oh, I didn-- W: ... M: You're welcome.