@juneohara65: You don't know humility until your Ouija board gets snippy with you.
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@sofarrsogud: WIFE: You know Hogwarts isn't real? It's just part of series of fantasy novels. ME: *chasing an owl around my garden* WHATEVER MUGGLE!!!
@arealliveghost: my computer is organized exactly like my brain, which is to say that I just found a photo of a baby weasel alone in a folder called "good"
@KateWhineHall: Playing mini-golf with your family is a fun way to spend thirty-two dollars to watch your kid throw 18 tantrums in a row.