@juneohara65: You don't know humility until your Ouija board gets snippy with you.
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@brianbowman73: I shot a man in Reno, Just to watch him cry. It was just a Nerf gun you big baby!
@goodballs: How to get out of a bad date. 1. Pull fake baby out of your bag. 2. Tell your date to help pick a name. 3. Start taking family photos.
@Parentpains: "She must be shy" is probably what I say to myself the most when a woman abruptly moves across the country after talking to me.