@juneohara65: You don't know humility until your Ouija board gets snippy with you.
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@timcarvell: Now that it's abandoned nudes, I hope Playboy goes with its other major brand identity and becomes a magazine about a very fancy rabbit.
@Cheeseboy22: If you are wondering how many ketchup packets you can put in a Holiday Inn hot tub before people stop going in, the answer is 9.
@robdelaney: "Bartender, see that brunette at the end of the bar? I'd like you to bring her a slice of your finest ham."