@IntrepidDeviant: You don't know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
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@matsmoustache: I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit.
@WheelTod: Any time I see a dog in a baby stroller I assume the dog has somehow established dominance & the baby is back at home stuck in a kennel.
@ixix82: 280 characters, baby, and you know what that means: OXFORD COMMAS. OXFORD COMMAS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!
@iamspacegirl: Grandpa *pulls coin from my ear* Me: Pft. Some trick. Grandpa *shoves coin into my ear, twists my nose, peanuts begin pouring from my face*