@blaha_Who: You don't know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, an you take all the covers with you.
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@PimpBillClinton: Last night I finally slept with a woman who has a Coke bottle figure. Unfortunately, she was a 3 liter.
@dafloydsta: [couples therapy] HER: His obsession with Star Wars is tearing us apart ME: *covering my Yoda doll's ears* Hear you he can, Karen
@Bandersnaaatch: Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?